So, I obviously didn't bring home a puppy. I did bring home a kitten. She was a half starved, flea ridden thing that needed a bath and a few good meals. By the time we found her a home, she was an adorable, spoiled calico fluff ball. I miss the cuteness, but I'm glad she found a home. I didn't need one more high maintenence animal.

It's the first week of school and I've been caught up in the various preparations for that (paperwork, financial aid, internship, car pooling, books). My stress level was a bit scary for a while. Now that I'm actually -doing- it and the prep is done, well, its wonderful. My classes (with the possible exception of ethics), are interesting. There's a focus on professional skills that will hopefully pay off and help me feel rather less clueless. My carpool buddy is nice and we get along well. There's possibly a third, we shall see how that goes and if she wants to join in.

Internship could be better, but that's on me. I chose another division of ADAPT (Corrections) and am shadowing a counselor. She's as nice as could be and it's a very pleasant enviroment, I just don't have the counseling background that enables me to be as helpful as I would hope to be somewhere else. I will be attending groups and doing my best though.

Things have worked out better than expected. I have a whole day off a week! As well as hopes of an internship at Child Welfare and then then a Christian based counseling program for Batterers.

I've been volunteering at the local animal shelter. Despite my history, I did NOT come home either a) bawling or b) with a dog. This was a possibility considering that the last time I went was when we ended up coming home with Ginger. All has been going well or was until I made the mistake of telling my mom that I had cuddled a male great dane/pit bull puppy that day. Her mind fastened on the words 'great dane' and she has been pestering me about the puppy (making sure he's not going to be put down) ever since.

I'm not sure how serious she is and if we could actually end up with another dog, though she's serious enough to have me call them daily. I suppose that is enabling, but I'm not sure that her being angry at me wouldn't be worse. On one hand, I love puppies and the idea of a new dog is always exciting. On the other hand is small details like Dad killing us, my starting school the fact that we -already have a male dog-. Two males in a home can turn bloody and it's a rather big risk after our last. It gets better in that the puppy is some sort of great dane, catahoula shepherd dog and/or pit bull mix. All of which could be scary in the amount of work needed and adding -that- into our household (The Catahoula Leopard dog description.. argh). I have no idea what will happen and am determined to give it to God rather than a) worrying about what might happen or b) getting myself worked up over nothing. So, Lord, this one's your's.

http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=14304537

That is Buster. If he actually comes home with us, you'll see another entry. For now, I'm going to go clean and then sleep.

I'm at the University of Oregon. My classes are registered for, my required background check is turned in and I have nothing to do but try and occupy myself for about four more hours. I'm also sleepy because of a bare minimum of sleep the past few days. What I really want to do is take a nap.

I need to bring my camera up here so I can get pictures of the U of O campus. It's beautiful and sprawling and some of the buildings (like the library) are wonderfully old fashioned. It's not so bad now, when I'm just blending in at the library, but I will have a week or so of panic came fall. There are -people- here. Large numbers even.

I'm too sleepy to make an insightful entry, so I am going to log out, have caffeine, call Christy and probably come back later.

A Love Affair of the Heart-

For above all else, the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. It cannot be lived primarily as a set of principles or ethics. It cannot be managed with steps and programs. It cannot be lived exclusively as a moral code leading to righteousness. it response to a religious expert who asked him what he must do to obtain real life, Jesus asked a question in return:

"What is written in the Law? ...How do you read it?" He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied.

The truth of the gospel is intended to free us to love God and others with our whole heart. When we ignore this heart aspect of our faith and try to live our religon solely as correct dotrien or ethirs, our passion is crippled, or perverted, and with the divorce of our soul from the purposes of God toward is deepened.

http://forum.purseblog.com/animalicious/the-3-most-aggressive-dog-breeds-455818.html

There are many times when I avoid posting on pit bull issues. Not all my friends are dog lovers, for one thing. Another is that many of my mIRC buddies et all have listened to me ramble, snarl and go on. It's easy for me, especially when depressed, stress or tired, to focus on a harmless topic (dogs!) and avoid talking about what's actually bothering me. I'm sure none of you have noticed. >.> I'm currently battling the sedated feeling that comes with missing a day or two of medication and starting back up again. Blargh. I also have moments of mini-depression or angst which I try not to burden people with. If thinking about dogs, rp or something simple gets me through the day without bothering anyone, then hey.

There are reasons for my pit bull defensiveness and paranoia, however. I don't get as much of it in public as Ginger and Barnabus are mixed breeds and look it, but there are days it seems to be everywhere. My neighbor (who Ginger won over) was just talking to me about how she wouldn't let a pit bull near her and they couldn't be trusted. Oregon's talked about at least two pit bull specific bills, neither one of which passed, thank God. And then there's things like this which seem to happen a few times a month: http://www.gopitbull.com/bsl-discussion/15382-tyler-tx-crowd-calls-nationwide-pit-bull-ban.html

This people exist and at some scary points, they seem to be the majority. Tragedy and fear blind otherwise compassionate and presumably logical people and turns them petty and vindictive. I realize this is not limited to pit bulls, this is just the area where it touches my life the most as they want to kill what's mine.

Today is one of the days that where I seen have lost a few levels of emotional skin. Things that should be small and insignificant cut to the quick and I find myself wanting to forget I'm 28 long enough to throw things and cry.

I nearly strangled the cat tonight. There is a nearby parking lot that is nearly sealed off. The only entrances are a yard and a driveway and after the karate place closes, it is deserted. When I'm in a hurry, I will put the 10 foot leash on the dogs, walk them down there and throw a ball or something. I was taking Barnabus when the cat started following us. Barnabus has a healthy respect for the cat indoors and tolerates him in the backyard, but that means nothing outside. Barnabus has a high prey drive and has been part of killing a cat in the enclosed dog run. The point of the walk was to take Barnabus where he could be briefly 'loose'. Loose+cat=death. Yelling, stomping my feet and throwing a rock in his direction did not dissuade the cat. After false stops, I had to walk the stupid freaking cat home, getting a leash burn on my hand in the process.

I also lost my keys at work. This has never happened before. I searched the place up and down and failed to find them. Then I had to wait at work about an extra hour to contact my parents and get a ride to work. Now I have to try and find my spare key, do laundry and get ready for bed. I should already -be- in bed as I work at 8am tomorrow and it's midnight.

I want to start the week over. Maybe the month.

My current cold, like nearly every other cold, feels the need to nestle in my sinus'. If it becomes a sinus infection opposed to a cold, I will be stabbing people. I have vacation coming up. The head cold piece is not aiding mental function. I nearly made an idiot of myself on lordhellebore's journal. A mis-informed idiot as opposed to an asshat, but bah.

I also had to cancel volunteering. I'm worried about appearing flaky as I just took time off from school, but I've developed a chronic need for kleenex and am snuffly enough to be contagious. I don't think they would appreciate my cold.

I had my last Cultural Competence class this week. I'm rather glad it's over. While useful, it went on too long and degenerated into the obvious. (ooh, ooh, I know the answer! We need to not assume that we define the universe!) I shouldn't mock it, as our teacher was sweet and a lot of people found it helpful. I did too, I just wanted it over at least three weeks ago.

( class discussion and more )

http://s594.photobucket.com/albums/tt30/lynndogphotos/?albumview=slideshow

These are dog pictures for those interested enough to want to see my dogs.

I just spent time talking weaselfierce this morning and have talked to others so I am not going to do an lj entry on dog issues. I just want to note that since Barnabus' aggression incident, he has been taken to a trainer and been worked with almost daily. We still have a ways to go, but he is a far safer dog and I have much better control. I just want to note that here, given how seriously I take owner responsibilities and my prior posts.

But on to other topics. God is teaching me patience, it seems. This doesn't seem quite fair, as I didn't pray for it. ;) There's more than one situation that's been placed in my life that I cannot control. What I've found out is that though my meds help hugely, that I still have issues letting go and letting God. I'm trying hard to give today's issues to God fully so I won't post them here.

Other than that, life is going decently. I graduate today. I have the hours at work to help pay off some bills that were looming or at least a better chance of it. I got to see Star Trek, which kicked a huge amount of ass. I'm going to spend a few days with weaselfierce's wife soon, as we go up to Washington to see another friend. This is going to kick a huge amount of ass.

http://network.bestfriends.org/stopbsl/news/34423.html

And look, here is tougher regulations working without a ban: http://www.startribune.com/local/46585887.html

This is so, so true. Death by pit bull kisses is a vastly under reported, but very srs danger to the general public. Worse, multiple pit bulls can and do show pack behavior by dividing and conquering the hapless victim by such tactics as coming at the victim from both sides.

Another attack in progress:


A barely contained pit bull:

Is this really the modern face of Elijah or John the Baptist? I don't always know what to think. I know that John and Elijah would be horribly unpopular today. They'd call out the Christians for their unofficial idol worship, selfishness and greed. They'd call on the general populace for the mad sex outside of marriage, the adultery within and without of the church and any number of behaviors people try to justify or don't want to admit to. I don't think Jesus would be popular either, really. He was loving, but he defended God fiercely and without apology.

Still, I hate to think this is what it would or should come to. I'm more perverted than I like to admit to and I suspect the same is true of most Christians. Should we really be the ones throwing stones with our marriages in the state that they're in? It somehow takes the wind out of the sails of defending 'sacred' marriage. 7%? of the population can't really be blamed for the ills of the other 93%. Blah.

So, some time ago I went to my bosses' about having a certain number of days (4) a week. I said this was what I needed to pay bills. If they could do it, great, if not, I needed to know so I could pick up another job if needed. They said no, no, it was fine and I could have four days a week since I've been there for four years. Then Paul (Boss #2) started doing the schedule and I had to go back to John (Boss #1) after I had a week with 3? days. Thought it was fixed and I was at four. Now Paul is doing schedules again. When I checked the schedule for the next two weeks I found a week with three days and the week after that has two and a half days. The three day bit isn't so bad, because I have a 45 hour week to balance out that check. The week after? Not so much.

I'm tired of this. My stress level is high enough due a mistake about my refund. TurboTax and I managed to mis-add and my refund is possibly much less than expected. This means bills I thought were paid are lingering in the air over my head.

The silver lining is my family has been more than generous. My tight wad dad told me to not worry about, which, coming from him, is amazing. My sister will cover for me and I'm surrounded by love, which is spiffy. I don't want them to have to cover for me though and it matters to me that I pay them back. Something that is that much harder to do when work is inconsistent. I think it's time to start hunting for a part time job.

Then again, maybe this is just a great opportunity to learn about faith and patience. ;)

I'm an Avatar fan. For those of you that don't know, it's a very clever, very well done kid's show that used to be on Nickelodeon. It has clear Asian themes and the 'tribes' in the movie clearly have aspects of various Asian or other ethnic cultures.



These are the main characters. If you look at the picture, you will note that they are not white. The palest one (Aang) is more debatable given his skin tone, but his heritage, eyes, etc hint at at other cultural backgrounds.

Guess what the live action cast is? If you're a hero, you're white. White, white, white. If you're Asian (Indian in this case), you are the villainous fire nation. To be fair, Zuko and Iroh are awesome characters with major roles and end up joining the good guys. And even Zuko started as a white actor until they thought of Dev Patel from Slumdog Millionaire. ..Also for a supporting cast earth nation chick who is also white for no apparent reason. 'Suki' is such a white name.

I'm willing to cut them some slack on Aang. Apparently a 12 yr old black belt sent them a movie of him doing karate in his backyard. Aang is also one of the paler characters, if not white. So, sure, okay. But Katara and Sokka? (The girl and boy in blue in the above picture) They are NOT white. They are closer to black, Inuit or a lot of other Asian options. Here is a link to the casting call: http://racebending.com/raceinavatar.html It didn't require they be Caucasian, but why didn't they ask for Asian actors specifically or in this case, black ones? Would it really be so bad if we had a movie without a white person in the cast?

The cartoon was a smash. There are video games, toys and merchandise.There's enough demand to them to package each episode and have it for sell at Bestbuy et all. Kids and several adults were clearly ready to embrace a TV show without a white cast. Why can't the fricking director and studio making the show into a movie do the same?

Stressssssssed. The house needs cleaning, I have laundry to do I have a few tasks left on the other to do list.

1) Get fingerprints done for FBI background check. (for school)
2) Get review notes for Math test and study.
3) Do college paperwork, send back as soon as possible to make up for general idiocy.
4) Do math test.
5) Work entire, literal weekend.
6) Fit dog training into schedule.
7) Read program binder, send in questionnaire and yet more college follow up by Monday.

It's also midnight and I've managed to do nothing more productive than pick out new icons and take out the rabbit. Stop life, I want to get off the bus.

Note to self: Never, ever, ever get behind in math again. Ever. I do live, but after much suckage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU

There's a subtle bias in this video. See if you can catch it more. More seriously, I don't know what I think about that. It's not like Christians/people in general have done such a bang up job, but the spectre of Saudi Arabia et all looms in my mind. Frankly, I would prefer conquest by the English or some such. So get on it, Britain. ;)

I got in. I'm in, I'm, I'm -in-. I will have no life for two years, but lives are overrated and I'm -in-.

%W%W%W Nap not working. 4? 5? hours of sleep also not working. Going to go do errands and then come back to check email. In an hour I should know if I made it into my program. @_@

I have an actual entry to post, but I'd prefer to wait until I've had enough sleep to stumble over my words. Also, waiting is evil.

*plays omnious music* It's happened. I've discovered dogster, as well as pbrc (Pit Bull Rescue Central) mailing list. I'm finally surrounded by people as obsessed as I am with dogs -and- fellow pit bull owners. >.> On a happy note, more than a few of the people have rescued pit bulls from terrible neglect or abandonment and successfully have the dogs in multi-dog households. It definitely gives me hope for adopting or fostering future pit bulls along with the greyhounds I will -so- have someday (-after- I graduate from college, take the dogs I have through training and have any all behavioral issues thoroughly mastered), but anyway, on the dorkness:

http://www.dogster.com/family/828251

Also, I need new pictures of the dogs to fully display their cuteness. A co-worker has promised pictures in exchange for a cake. I need to get baking.

Note: I have squee'd to some of you. Feel free to ignore this post or this part of it at least. I went to see the greyhounds at Petco on Sunday. If I didn't have 3 dogs that need my time and attention, one of them would have gone home with me. They are so -gentle-. A 80 dog can lean against you and feel like nothing. Even the one dog that jumped was able to do so without knocking me around or being forceful. She was trying to give me a hug and it was cute, despite not being the best possible manners. The more I read about them and talk to their owners, the more I become convinced that they are teh awesome. They're gentle, cuddly couch potatoes that generally come with a good mount of dog socialization, some training and are used to human handling. I'd read all this before, of course, but seeing them was something else. They're adorable. <3

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/Television/story?id=7381893&page=1

I'm not sure what I feel about this. I admire her courage and was annoyed that Perez Hilton was taking the supposed moral highground and crap, but this article seems to have indicated that he got himself together, so I withdraw the bitchy rant I might have made. The fact that it was Perez Hilton as opposed to, say, Ellen, made it harder for me to be objective and focus on the issue rather than his behavior, occupation and bitchy streak. Again, I note that he pulled it together, so hey. Though on that end, I'd like to to focus shift to fixing federal spousal benefits across the board. If we spend another few years (or not) fighting over gay marriage, maybe that at least could be worked in and help people now. But I'm dreaming again.

Edit- Yes, her coherence is less than promising. At least they didn't ask her about the Iraq. I'm attempting to get over my instinctual hissing at Perez Hilton, but we will see.

Things are better. While I have a math test, I have free days to study for it and days -off-. Volunteering is the only thing on my schedule and Friday I will know if I made it into the program. *bites nails* Time always moves by so much more slowly when you're waiting to know. -_-

And as I've managed to squander precious study time, I'm off for now.